We are not born with a negative attitude. We develop it by what we are told by our family, friends, community, and our own personal life experiences. The beauty of the way you think is that it does not necessarily have to be stagnant. If you believe change is warranted, you can make it happen.
Viewing your outlook from a place of objectivity, allows you to evaluate the thoughts that are healthy, and those that must be abandoned. Whether right or wrong, it is easy to say, “This is how I’ve always been” and stick with it, but it takes a true warrior to recognize they have a damaging attitude, and must work to adjust it.
The best person to tell you if you have a toxic attitude is you. The key to making this happen is asking yourself questions to which you provide honest answers. For example, do people go out of their way to stay away from me? Do I believe my way is the right way…the only way? Do people tell me they feel like they have to walk on egg shells around me? If you find the answer is yes, you may need to spend some time working on the way you view life.
You may ask, “What are some things I can do to better myself?” The first thing is to realize there are internal and external actions that you can take. Let’s start with internal actions. Forgive yourself. Once you have acknowledged that you haven’t been the most positive person, you must mentally let go of your wrongdoing, and vow to do better. Harping on your shortcomings is unhealthy and unproductive. Take control of your mind. Immediately dismiss negative thoughts as they enter.
Now that you have your mind right, work on your heart. Develop a heart of gratitude. Focusing on things for which you are grateful, leaves no room in your heart for negativity.
Regarding what you can do externally, it’s easier to hold on to bitterness, but it’s more productive to let go, by forgiving others. Many times, we develop a bad attitude because of our dealings with other people. It may be that the outcome of an interaction didn’t go your way, or the people you regularly spend time with don’t have a positive attitude, and you’ve unknowingly fallen into the rut of acting just like them. The good thing about forgiving someone else is that it not only liberates them, it liberates you.
Try doing something nice for someone. You’d be amazed at how helping others can brighten your mood. This can be filling a need that you know exists, or a random act of kindness.
Remember, what’s inside you, will come out. If you want people to know you are a cheerful person, speak words that line up with that. Practice positive language. Words have might. They can uplift or tear down.
There are a lot of things in life that we cannot control, but our attitude is completely within our power. When it is all said and done, not only will the people around you notice the change, but you will feel better about who you have become.